Interview with editor of IUBIRE.md - Marje Aksli

Marje and her senior son, Jaan Kristjan

- Maria, how came the idea of creating the site?

- It seemed at the time, internet was the best tool for educating people in some topics. While pregnant I started to search for information about my new condition, I then found an Estonian web site, quite similar to the www.iubire.md and I just found it really helpful. When I came to Moldova, I thought maybe Moldovan women would learn about pregnancy and birth as I did – through the internet.

- Why did you invest so much personal time and efforts in it?

- It was quite simple, I wanted to do something. Imagine that you live in a foreign country - no friends or nobody you really know. At first, you want to do something just to keep yourself busy and to do something interesting, something challenging and new. Actually, at first I was really concerned about the trafficking issues. I was thinking to do something in this area. But then I realized that is better idea to build something you have been using yourself.

- Is there any connection between your previous work and the Association’s activities?

- I studied Hungarian language in university and I made my master thesis about political rhetoric. I wanted to study political science in Central European University and I had been working in the field of foreign relations. No, you see, my background is slightly different compared with what I do right now.

- What did you do before coming to Moldova?

- I was full time mother just for some time. Before we came to Moldova, we were living in different countries: we lived in Latvia in Riga and then we lived in Vienna in Austria. My husband works for international organization OSCE and this is why we had to travel.

"Pregnancy is not illness, it is not something DOCTOR should take care of..."

- Why did you decide that there has to be information about and for pregnant women? Isn’t it enough to visit a doctor?

Oh, this is so wrong! The more you know about your body, the better you can prepare yourself for birth, for example. And once more – pregnancy is not illness, it is not something DOCTOR should take care of. I find women concentrate on the possible negative sides of pregnancy only, on the possibility that something COULD go wrong. Yet there are many ways you can learn how to help yourself, how to keep yourself healthy and enjoy your new status.

Women, knowing more makes you stronger! I suggest every woman to ask more about the health matters.

- People think here that internet is a source of information and communication for young people, and not for pregnant women. What do you think?

- Why should internet be for young people only? Isn’t it meant for everybody? The matter only is – is there something what might interest people of different age groups? And I don’t see a contradiction here between YOUNG and PREGNANT at the same time.

- The internet is less accessible for people in rural areas. What about them?

- Yes, you are right, this internet magazine is not designed for the possibilities what rural women have. Which doesn’t mean, that women in the countryside cannot read our web site – no, not at all. Everybody who has an access to internet is more than welcome to come and read our web magazine!

Our information is free – you only have to pay for the time, you spend in internet. And it costs 5-6 lei per hour! It is not too much for a good piece of information!

"I think your people are very nice once you know them already, but on the street or banks or shops, many officials are still very rude..."

- About Moldova ... How do you see Moldova?

- It is really hard to capture all the Moldova in one answer. I think your people are very nice once you know them already, but on the street or banks or shops, many officials are still very rude. Good example is the story in the bank which did not want to let me in with my baby stroller. The good news is that after we wrote a news story about accessibility with strollers to public institutions for the local newspaper, I witnessed many changes: staircases were made accessible for women with little children.

- What is the difference between young people in Estonia and Moldova?

- What is the difference? I don’t think there is any significant difference. I think the young people are everywhere quite similar. I don’t know… The only difference I notice is that Estonian young people are not dreaming about leaving Estonia in such an extent as young people here. But we also had a wave while many of our young people were leaving. Thanks god, they are coming back after a while.

- How do you think, what is the appropriate age when children/adolescents should be told about puberty, love, contraception, HIV/AIDS, etc.? Who should talk to them?

- I really don’t know the right answer. I think all the young people are different – it depends. One thing I have understood is then a child asks from parents something on those topics – it would be right time to answer the child then. For example, little children often ask: "Where are the babies coming from?" – I think parents have to explain then with really simple words so that a small kid could understand. And answer only so much to satisfy their curiosity, not to give too much information. To tell too much at once wouldn’t be a good idea either.

"Very often we used to think that our happiness depends on other people. But... is it really so?"

- Maria, how do you think, what Moldovan women need in order to be happy?

- Why do you think they are not happy enough? Everybody might have different reasons why are they unhappy, so it is really hard to suggest something, which would fit for everybody. If somebody who reads this interview is unhappy – I suggest her to think really-really thoroughly what would she need to be happy again and … then just go after it. Very often we used to think that our happiness depends on other people. But … is it really so?

"I would suggest for young parents to trust yourselves little bit more, always ask more and more questions..."

- Are there any important things that you should know when you plan to have a baby?

- When I became mother I was really surprised how much did I suddenly needed to know about medicine and health. I was surprised how many times I had to take decisions all by myself! And unfortunately I learned that I couldn’t always trust doctors. That is why I would suggest for young parents to trust yourselves little bit more, always ask more and more questions and not rely only on suggestions of doctors. Why?

Simple example: I just heard that in children hospital in Chisinau the doctors give Dimedrol for babies who are sick! It puts babies asleep and doctors say: Oh, it is good for babies, they heel much quicker then they are asleep! But – Dimedrol is a really serious medical drug and it is hard on babies’ health. In this way babies have to fight with illness and also cover from the dosage of Dimedrol!

So, I guess my suggestion is to think critically about health and medical matters.

I would like to encourage everybody to express their opinion more on the Forum section, to ask questions, comment on the topics etc. This is the possibility share experiences with each other. And I think we need that type of forum – because very often we have nobody to ask opinion from or just talk about health matters. Everybody is welcome to express their opinion, ask questions and share their views and experiences.

- Thank you very much, Marje!

2004