Wife of Hungarian ambassador Gabi Robel knows the world of women

I know Gabi because I speak Hungarian, her mother tongue. Knowing a person's language makes you feel like a soul mate. I had a chat with her and asked some questions about life in other countries. She knows how the life "over there" is - she has been a wife of a diplomat for more than 30 years and lived in many exotic countries.

- Gabi, you live in Moldova now, how do you like it here?

- People here are very gentle. They are open hearted, full of affection and love. We are very well treated here and I would say that we are even spoiled a bit by Moldovan people. I like to communicate, to establish friendship with people from different countries.

- You have lived in many countries in Latin-America and Africa.

Yes, we have lived in Bolivia and Argentina in South America and in Angola and Ethiopia in Africa. When we lived in Ethiopia in Africa I learnt that they have really interesting wedding traditions. I know you are mostly curious about these topics. She laughs. In one village in the former Ethiopia (after the split of country, it belongs today to the Eritrea) before the wedding it was a habit of force-feeding the future grooms. So, the young men were closed in a small room and given lot of camel's milk, which contains lots of fat. Since the boys could not move much around - use their energy - they became really fat. For the local people big fat people meant rich and well off people. That is why they always organize force-feeding periods before the weddings. This may, depending on the wealth of the family, last up till one month.

- One month! And what about the girls?

- Girls were kept in similarly but on the different reason: they were kept in to avoid the sunlight. The pale skin was regarded much more beautiful. And another interesting story - once a Hungarian explorer told me that somewhere in Ethiopia there is a tribe, whose traditions demand sexual relations before the marriage. But the young ladies did not became pregnant! It was a puzzle to him how do they avoid the pregnancies? And he learnt that they make a tea of specific herbs and drink it! This is a very well-kept secret though how to make this tea and what herbs would you have to use. Even in other parts of Ethiopia this was not known.

- Wow! That is interesting!
I know you also lived in Iraq, tell us about this country as well. We have recently heard so much about this country but we know so little.

- Iraq used to be a very wealthy country. Unfortunately, due to the political reasons the poverty is enormous now. The Gulf wars and regime of Saddam and …

- Hmm, Gabi, we will hear all the political staff from the TV and radio every day. Tell us rather about simple people. We used to think that Arabic women, for example, were not allowed to get education and were not allowed to work or something...

No, it was not like that in Iraq. In Iraq the life of women was much like here in Europe. Women study in universities and have a daily work and they drive cars, walk alone on the streets. Women are even in parliament and hold important positions. Many of Iraqis were grown up abroad and some had very good education. These families practiced birth control as European women do. But of course, in a strict religious family it might be little different. Religious women were instructed to wear "abaya", a kind of black cloth covering everything except the face. But Iraqi women, for instance, never cover their face completely.

What may be different compared to Europe is - that Iraqi women were not allowed to travel alone abroad. And their share in an inheritance is half of male members of the family. However, in many families men and women were actually equal. Everybody tries to do whatever they could for their families, running after business and earning money.

And, yes, I knew some families where the woman was bought to become a wife. Usually men's family arranges this. Nevertheless there were several ones, were love was as important as in our cultural environment. But probably the majority was married in a traditional way.

- What would you predict - what will the Iraq's future be like after the war?

- I know that Iraqi people are very hard working and skillful people. I have no doubt in their capacity. I believe they will be able to rebuild the country quickly and will have a normal life soon again. It will not be very easy though - the foreign debt is enormous, which they have to pay back.

- I recently read in Economist an interesting fact: majority of Iraqi women do not breastfeed their babies. They feed their babies formulas. Now it might be a problem because the quality of water is not good at all. How was it then you lived there? Did the women breastfeed or... ?

- Probably not much. In the framework of foreign aid arrangement "Oil for food" they received the Nestle formulas in their own rights. The quality of water was not satisfactory even when we were there, however, now it is likely worst due to the war damages.

- Have you kept contact with somebody from Iraq, learnt how were they doing after the war?

- Yes, I have kept some contacts, but it was not easy because in Iraq there was no free access to the Internet and the letters probably were controlled. So, our friends have been reluctant to write or phone. It was some months ago when we received an e-mail from our friends. We exchange postcards in the New Year with them as with our other friends, too. Of course we have news about them through other sources: travelers, colleagues, other friends etc. Now these sources don't work, but we hope soon we don't need this complicated means of communication and we can contact them freely.

- Gabi, here in Chisinau, you are the Vice-President of the International Women's Club of Moldova. What does the club do?

- Maybe the most well known is the fair we organize every year in December. We ask embassies to gather different national souvenirs and food and drinks and we sell them then. This is a good possibility for Moldovans to taste different national food - and this has made us able to help your people in need. The money we earn this way goes for the charity. We usually support the local women's activities: educational projects, training for women, health education, but we support other activities, too. A kindergarten, for instance.

But my real concern are children. Here Gabi's face really turns serious. I have been wondering how would it be possible to help those Moldovan children who do not have parents any more. Or those children who come to school in the morning without breakfast? In Hungary we have a very successful project "School Milk" - this means that children have free glass of milk every day at school. It seems such a minor thing to do, but you know, there might be children for whom this glass of milk is the only breakfast they have. This project has been going on for several years in Hungary. I think this is a very important thing to do.

- Yes, we have this in Estonia as well. And in Canada, I heard. But who pays for the free milk? There are no free lunches, as we know.

- Well, in Hungary first some foreign funds supported this action. Gradually some local enterprises and government have joined the project as well. Maybe somebody would like to initiate this here in Moldova, as well?

- What could Moldovan people do in order to help those, who's life is not going very well?

- The solidarity is important issue. The luckier part of the country must help those in trouble. I remember when we lived in Bolivia - it was during the troubles times, there were not enough of food and money. I asked my family to send me some beans from Hungary. I planted them and had beans, of course. Then a neighbor came - he was black like a night! A very good person - and asked me how did I do this. I gave him somewhat beans, showed him how to plant them and he had beans, of course. He was very happy, because he had little children to feed. In turn, he took me to his friends in countryside and they showed me how to grow bananas. Then I had bananas! And we were happy. Everything was very easy, actually.

Gabi stresses several times the importance of love and caring about others. She says, it really works. And - she looks like she knows what she is talking about.

- You have two sons - where were they born?

- My older son was born while we lived in Bolivia. But I gave birth in Hungary. Why? It was not that I did not want to deliver there. No, not at all. But the situation was a little different - the capital La Paz, where we lived, situates very high in the mountains - 3600 meters high and I wasn't used to that. It felt difficult to breathe while I was expecting my first baby. So, I gave birth in Hungary and traveled back with my newborn son. My younger son was born in Argentina 26 years ago.

- And what are they doing now?

- They both live in Hungary, of course. They are grown up men. My older son likes traveling. He is very keen to know new countries and different people. He prefers the so-called developing countries, which are not as boring as rich Western democratic countries! He establishes contacts with people very easily. My younger son is different. He is - what you could call workaholic. He is an economist. He spends most of his time studying and working.

Special hobby

Gabi Robel has a special hobby: over the years she has been collecting traditional women's dresses from all over the world. We tried them on.

Hmm - I must say they felt good! Especially then you regard the hot climate they usually have over there. I liked a long dress made of green damask - like a long night gown but very elegant at the same time. I will make one for summer! Only I wonder who can make those beautiful embroideries?

The questions were asked and the photos taken by Marje Aksli